Jigolanthas Rides Again

Jigolanthas Rides Again

The Pink Tower has always been a kind of a beehive, which is to say a chaotic hub of fiercely busy working creatures bumping into each other....

But instead of Bees, you will find gnomes. 

Thousands of gnomes. Fluttering about, immensely busy, incredibly loud, and mostly, bumping into each other as if they were bees in flight.

If you are standing outside the tower, all this movement seems like a kind of psychedelic glow-bowl, because the walls of the Pink Tower are made of a kind of pink crystal which distorts but does not hide at all the activity inside the tower. Just imagine that. A gigantic semi-transparent penis full of busy gnomes.  Disturbing. Beautiful. Nauseating. All these adjectives can be honestly applied to the Pink Tower.

But if you are inside the tower, however, the sensation is completely different. In fact, the closest analogy to what you will experience inside the Pink Tower is like being in a beehive.

Most humans are notably distressed by the distinctly penis-like shape of the Pink Tower the first time they see it. It’s obscene, that’s for sure. But it’s also… Beautiful somehow. Magical.

Gnomes are not at all troubled by this indecency.

They relish it.

To them, the Pink Tower is simply a matter-of-fact proof of the absolute technical, magical and political supremacy of gnomes in all Nagaloka. And possibly in the whole galaxy.

However, outside Lollipop City, this vision of gnomish superiority fades off into blatant ridicule of their penis tower and their chaotic, insane city. Inside Lollipop City, however, where the Pink Tower stands above her sisters, the Yellow and Blue Towers, Gnomish superiority is a fact that all lizard-men have come to accept in the same manner that they accept winter: nonchalantly. This is also true in Switzerland, planet Earth, where the Swiss Gnomes control the world economy unseen. 

The absolute lord of the Pink Tower is the incredibly powerful, immortal gnomish sorcerer, Jigolanthas.

He is one of the Three Elders who founded Lollipop City in the prehistory of the world, when the land upon where the city was founded was just a bunch of swamps owned by fish-eating Lizard People.

Of Jigolanthas, his origins, stories, legends, feats and misdeeds are common knowledge to all in the city, and most educated folk in the rest of the planet. Generally, Jigolanthas is quite liked by the many citizens of Lollipop City, who view him as a kindly father with notoriously kinky tastes. He reminds folks of that eccentric, rich uncle who always flirts with his underage nieces, but mostly in jest. But his exploits, victories and defeats can all be found… Books, comic books, holographic novels, neural-network soap-operas, musicals, theatre… there is no form of entertainment that Jigolanthas has not exploited to make his image absolutely awesome and marvelous to behold. Young females of every species want to be raped by him. It’s the kind of mojo he handles.

But not me.

My name is Aifos, and I am a Centaur from the Centaur Mountains.

I now work for Elder Jigolanthas, and this is my story.

I was just a young filly, roughly coming out of the second year of life, when I was "purchased" by Jigolanthas from my poor peasant parents, who thought nothing of selling me. Slavery is legal so long as it is accepted by Jigolanthas, and my “new” master needed a cool ride to get him from the tower to the brothels and back. A centaur with perky breasts, long blond hair and a California dreaming-kind of face was just the thing.

Meaning… Me.

Ridding in the back of a young naked centaur filly was just about the right thing for the perverted gnome to show his absolute “mainliness”, especially because, as Emperor of Lollipop City, he usually went around as naked as me.

He had a thing about my long red blond and green eyes. He used to have some of his best hair dressers spend hours fixing my curly locks in a variety of new and interesting styles. It was all show, but in fact, it was also bothersome. I felt often like some kind of show-piece.

When he arrived at my mother's house in the Centaur Mountains for the first time, he teleported a huge pot of gold which weighed in at 467 lbs. That's was exactly my own weight at the time. Jiji (that’s what his friends call him) knows how to get stuff out of people. He tells me often that everybody has a price, and knows everything!

He appeared in my home out of nowhere.

I was frightened of him. He used of those "teletransportation" spells, so common among the rich and powerful. He also didn’t travel alone. Ever.  He had always a whole entourage of weird creatures as his support group. Guards, servants, sex slaves. Jigolanthas needed more attention than a movie star. His groupies were bountiful.

This time a gigantic Ogre, four lizardmen and a winged female Angel-like creature that looked like she needed a stiff drink accompanied him.

 He was tiny, maybe the size of a four year old human child. His stature was doubled by an enormous pointed red hat, typical of his race. His beard reached down to his belly button, and it was fluffy and white. He was actually quite skinny for a gnome, and his face was unnaturally old. He was smiling. And naked. Very naked.

"Good day, gentle centaurs. My name is Jigolanthas and I am one of the Three Elders of Lollipop City. I have come here to purchase your daughter's services." He said after a polite bow to my mother.

At first, mom was ready to stomp him out of existence with her hooves.

 

After all, everybody in Nagaloka knows about Lollipop City's perverse gnome lord and his outrageous orgies. Having him come naked to our house to “purchase” my services… The outrage!

Mom is a conservative centaur lady who holds dear some basic moral guidelines handed down form her mother and her mother's mother.  Centaurs are basically a conservative, family-values crowd in our planet. And my parents were no exception to the rule. Actually, there was a time when she flirted with the idea of joining a human Christian church, but sadly, she was not accepted on account that she was only "partly" human. Quadrupeds are not welcomed as Christians in our world... To be Christian, you must be human. Such are the breaks. Maybe someday Christians will allow non-humans to join their strange and morally restricting cult, will, but not now and not here.

Dad...

Dad looked at the pot of gold at the feet of the gnome and decided that I was old enough to get a good job.

After all, my other options were to find a nice stud here at home, get married and have some kids. That was not a very financially promising future. We Centaurs are a poor lot, usually hired out for a variety of manual-labor tasks. There are no Centaur millionaires.

He also thought that if I ended up living far away from home, in beautiful, debauched Lollipop City would be just the thing to get my real education underway. And then there was the cincher: I was going to work directly for one of the Three Elders. To that that meant something like if God came down from heaven and asked me to work for him.

Besides, I would be working for “the government”, and there is nothing better to "learn the ropes" according to my dad than a government job. This comes from the fact that dad worked in the Goblin Kingdom Post Office for a number of years before reaching retirement age.

Dad was always the boss back at home, so I had very little choice in the matter.

Once the official documents regarding my physical person and the ownership thereof were signed by my parents, and I had chance say goodbye to my mother, who cried, shouted, threatened, played dead, played nuts and finally resigned herself…. Dad counted his coins ruefully and told me to “be obedient to my new master”.

Fucking chauvinist pig.

Jigolanthas teleported me directly to my new home.  There, he told me to wait, that he had urgent matters to attend, and to make myself comfortable. He would come shortly to explain my duties.

I had never been teleported before. The process consists of something like being torn to bits by ants and then recreated, just as painfully, somewhere else. The first thing I did upon being deconstructed atom by atom, shoved into a miniature black hole and then reconstructed atom by atom inside Lollipop City, inside the Pink Tower Grounds, inside my new room, was to vomit.

Next scene, I was inside a beautiful stable just north of the Pink Tower with all the commodities for young centaurs: library, music room, kitchen, swimming pool, and of course, my very own lizardman servant. The entire place was decorated with rare woods and nature-motifs designed to feel "like home". My very own personal stable was bigger than my entire family estate back in the Centaur Mountains.

It was wild.

I had a personal lizardman servant, by the Gods.

But then, I discovered it was no big deal. It seems that everybody who is anybody in Lollipop City has a lizardman servant. Or various.

My servant's name was Cloud, and he was just shy of being a teenager. Lizard men show their age by their size. The older lizard men are gigantic. The younger lizardmen are much smaller. Cloud was a child. Barely the size of a dwarf. He was the kind of person who was always present, watchful, service-oriented, and friendly, but mysterious and very shy to speak about himself.

Actually, Cloud hardly spoke a word. He answered all my questions with a "Yes Ma'am" or a "No Ma'am" most of the time. And he always bowed politely to me. First he gave me a brief tour of my new home. He was very proud of its cleanliness and functionality, and he explained that part of his job was to keep my home clean. Lizardmen have issues with cleanliness. They are very anal-retentive about it. Must be their cold-blood. Perhaps they are English, like from planet Earth.

"Do you know what I am supposed to do, Cloud?". I asked him after a brief introduction of myself, where I confided to him that I was a little worried about being here.

"No ma'am". He replied.

"Can you tell me something about Jigolanthas?".

"No ma'am".

"Am I in trouble?".

"Yes, ma'am".

"What kind of trouble?"

"I really can't say, ma'am".

"Can you help me?".

"No, ma'am".

I was utterly terrified.

I was really far from home, working for a diminutive but ancient gnome whose very name caused horror in many nations. At least those nations where the debautchery and orgies well known to occur in Lollipop City were considered a bad thing. The Elder Jigolanthas, one of three Elders who built Lollipop City from the ground had the reputation of immense power and notoriously lax “moral” standards. My own Centaur Kingdom, a loosely knit group of fiefdoms of powerful warrior clans considered Jigolanthas a demon, a creature of pure evil. But that did not make Jigolanthas someone who they didn’t want to trade with. In fact, demons notoriously good merchants, and the Centaur Kingdom depends on Lollipop City for a variety of important imports, such as magic wands, scrolls and cheese.

Besides, the Elder Jigolanthas had always lived in the Pink Tower, which he built himself: a gigantic Penis, rising unmolested (pun intended) in the center of the city, visible by all, always unashamed and unrepentant, and there, thousands of other gnomes lived and died as his personal servants and slaves.  Only a monster could do that and get away with it!

Of course, Jigolanthas had hundreds of personal servants who are not gnomes. Lizardmen are the most common, and they always had the lowliest jobs: janitors, gardeners, window-washers.

I was one of one about a dozen other centaurs, all living in beautifully kept white adobe wall, red-tile roofed stables north of the tower: the "Pink Tower Cavalry" of the Pink Tower. Our uniforms were loudly pink, and made out of that strange, hard as-steel, translucent crystal material out of which the entire Pink Tower was built. But my particular uniform was actually… nakedness.

Here I must also say something about the fact the Jigolanthas prefers to wear no clothes. In a city where all manner of creatures live side by side, unicorns, dragons, harpies… it is not rare to see creatures with no clothes. Dragons, for instance, would never be caught dead with a skirt or using pants. But gnomes… Gnomes do wear clothes. In fact, they like fashion so much, that all gnomes have adopted the pointed red hat as a kind of social necessity.

Most gnomes.

Jigolanthas goes around naked.

And nobody says anything. They don’t say anything because… he’s a gnome. Other gnomes all wear clothes. In fact, they are prude. They have family values. They look at home in Teutonic gardens. But Jiji… Jiji goes around showing his privates to the whole city and nobody says anything because he is one of three beings who BUILT the city. One of the Three Elders. Immortal guardians. Going naked is his way of saying, I am the law. Don’t fuck with me.

Centaurs mostly go naked too. But we have a right. We have natural hair that covers most of our bodies. At least the horse-part of our bodies.  As most centaurs, the idea of wearing any kind of "clothes" was absurd to me. Still, Cloud insisted that I put on one of the many uniforms on my "closet". He explained that Jigolanthas would want me to put it on when he came to see me, and that we could arrive in any moment.

It was then and there that I decided to outwit the gnome. I was here against my will, sold by my father for a potful of gold. By the Gods, I would not be easy to saddle!

I went to the pool and jumped in, splashing water all over the beautiful wooden floor.

"Ma'am, the Master surely will be here soon. You should dress." Said my servant.

"Cloud, you, better than anyone, understand the importance of cleanliness." I replied, and started playing in the water.

"You don't understand, ma'am... The master..." Cloud was not able to finish his warning. Jigolanthas appeared in front of us both out of the thin air. How the tiny gnome was able to sand teleporting himself all over was a mystery to me. Teleporting hurts!

"Well, hello! I caught you in the shower!" He said lustfully.

I felt naked.

Vulnerable and ashamed. Now, how in heaven's name does a centaur, who has never worn clothes feel "naked" is a mystery to me. But the little fellow with the long beard and the eyes that seem to take off one's clothes has that effect on me. He looked excited to see me.

"Oh, excuse me, sir. I was just about to put on my new and beautiful uniform..." I said timidly, all while wanting to kick myself for saying it.

"Oh, no trouble. Take your time. I will look at some of these wonderful books in your library while you dress. Do you like your new home?".

"Yes, sir. I like it very much." I said in that little girl's voice I used with my dad when I was caught doing something wrong.  I came out of the pool, dripping wet and started to dry myself with one of the many soft cotton towels hanging from a rack.

"You are going to be my personal steed. I love ridding centaurs. When I was a young man, one of my best friends was a centaur. We rode together many years. Decades. Then, he died, and I haven't ridden another centaur since".  He sounded perfectly composed. Not a mad rapist at all. I was intrigued.

"Centaurs do not like being ridden." I ventured to say, and I obediently put the pink saddle on my back. It was a ridiculous contraption with plush pillows, a handle, a safety belt… It even had a portable AM-FM radio on the side. I was hating wearing the dammed thing before I even finished strapping it on my backside. I felt ridiculous.

"Hopefully you will not mind after a while. I think you will find ridding with me an interesting experience. Besides, if you don´t like the job, I am more than willing to let you go back home and your family and your father can keep the gold I already paid him". He began smoking his huge pipe, which was about half his own size and came out of seemingly thin air.

"Really?".

"Really".

A short time later, I was fully dressed in all the shiny Pink Tower regalia and the Elder Jigolanthas, the gnome, was sitting comfortably on my back. I couldn't hardly feel him. He was almost like having nothing at all.

I rode out proudly carrying the Elder Jigolanthas on my back and I  saw Lollipop City for the first time, in all her splendor.

Jigolanthas and I rode alone.

No escorts, no soldiers, no servants. Just me and him. And it was quite astonishing. The little gnome was so "at home" that he took the place of tourist guide to a young visitor from far away.

“That there is the Chato Cat, the best whorehouse in the entire city, and the oldest too… And over there, you can see Hotel Lolita, home of Mama Rosa, one of the most powerful witches. She is from planet Earth, from a place called Chicago, Illinois. That huge egg over there, you can see in the distance is The Nursery. All the ovarian creatures in the city deposit their eggs there for 26 hours of intensive care. Most citizens in our city were born there. It was there before we built the city for the savage lizardmen.”  He spoke as a father to a child who is on vacation on some exotic land. I felt immediately comfortable with him on my back. It was uncanny.

I had never been outside of the Centaur Mountains up until now. The big metropolis was an amazing, magical, crazy place.

Our tour started when we left my huge white and red stable which was the smallest one of eight large structures built of similar materials and style hidden away behind the Three Towers. To the north of us was the city wall and the gigantic Lollipop Forest. Directly to the south, the Three Towers, surrounded by the wall that encircled the Three Tower Grounds. Beyond that, was the city itself, a weird collection of impossible buildings in every imaginable shape, form, color and style. A chaotic collection of mismatched buildings who had no real relationship to each other. So strange and big and loud it was that I felt a little nauseous at first.

The most numerous kind of structures in the city were "Yurts".

These homes were made either in half-egg, cone or pyramid shape form from a variety of materials, rock, wood, metal, animal-skin, adobe, bamboo... Hardly one yurt looked like another but many were painted pink in honor of the gigantic Pink Tower, especially those near the huge Avenue Jigolanthas.  The yurts came in all sizes, from the tiny yurts for fairies, which were about the size of a hat to the enormous yurts of giants which were large enough for hundreds of persons to live in. The largest of all yurts were the three enormous pyramids which belonged to Lollipop City University, one red, one blue and one yellow, all made from huge stone bricks, some as big as a house.  The University was a center of magical, musical and historical sturdy. Besides the University the Great Temple District consisted of two great pyramids surrounded by a large wooden fence. Of course, these great pyramids were dwarfed utterly by the Three Towers, which were true skyscrapers.

Our little "expedition" took us for a stroll through the garden of the Three Towers. The Pink Tower I have already mentioned. Now I will speak of the Blue and Yellow Towers. The Blue Tower is not really a tower, but eight enormous floating spheres which connect one to another in ever-changing positions. It was in constant but slow movement. The spheres were huge, maybe around a thousand meters in diameter each one, but they never stopped moving, except, of course, for the one at the bottom, which is where folks came in and out of the Blue Tower. What manner of sorcery activated such gigantic structures to move? I have not the slightest clue. Why these huge spheres were always moving was also a mystery.

In contrast, the human tower, the Yellow Tower was a huge boring yellow brick building with hundreds of rectangular glass windows.  Jigolanthas informed me that the building was 444 meters tall, with 108 floors. At any one moment, it might house as many as 15,000 people.

The sheer size of these amazing structures has no rival in the entire planet. And I was carrying on my back one of the builders… and if his account of affairs were to be believed, the principal architect.

“Tell me dear Aifos, what think you of my city?” asked my Master from his lofty perch on my behind.

“It is beyond words, Master.”

“I don’t know if I like it for you to call me Master. It sounds sadomasochistic. Better you call me what my other friends call me: Jiji.”

“Yes, Master Jiji.”

“This city is the culmination of all my dreams, Aifos. I am not a native of this planet. I come from a galaxy far away, and I am older than some of the mountains in this land. But since I was a wee-little pervert in my mother’s arms, I dreamed of a place where all beings could be free to be themselves, to live as they would, and do as they pleased. It is the creed of all witches, sorcerers and magicians. ‘So that it harm none, do as thou will shall be the whole of the law.’ This is the foremost principle by which Lollipop City is ruled, and this is my principal goal in creating this city: To promote a totally permanent autonomous zone.”

I thought about this. My conservative parents warned me of this philosophy as it being the ultimate trick of the forces of chaos to bring ruin to all. But here, in this city, with these great buildings and myriad creatures living together in harmony, I had to revisit these old prejudices as possibly flawed.

“So many different beings…. They never fight amongst themselves?” I asked.

“Oh, there are numerous fights. That is why we made the Arena for. Fights must be mutually agreed upon. And folks are quite free to kill each other however they wish… in the arena. My Pink Tower Guards, and the Blue Tower Guards and the Yellow Tower Guards make sure that the fights stay in the arena. Otherwise, perpetrators are quickly dispatched. Anybody can challenge anybody else to fight in the Arena. But murders outside the Arena are prohibited. You will find that “rouge” assassins are few and far between in my city.”

“And morality?” I watched amazed as a couple of fornicating fairies did the dirty above our heads in a show of amazing aerial acrobatics. They had huge butterfly wings that somehow didn’t get in the way of their pornographic show.

“Morality and murder are all left up to everybody individually. And best kept indoors. If you are offended by something that happens in Lollipop City, you better get a thicker skin.”

That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I found the gnome and intelligent, compassionate, kind, perverse, funny creature, but most importantly, a good friend. Jigolanthas rode me all around the city for about 200 years. Then my titties began to sag, my eyes to wrinkle and Jiji decided to get himself a new ride: a stupid flying carpet he bought on sale from some Rakshashas from some faraway land.

Now, older, wiser and semi-retired, I have found love again. My children, Legos and Eros, two young bucks, and their father, Gorgomola, a dark-skinned centaur form my homeland who got tired of the rural lifestyle and came to the big city to make a name for himself. He ended up working as a Pink Tower Guard thanks to me.

Jiji occasionally comes over to visit me and my kids. He hasn’t aged a bit… but that does not surprise me. He is immortal. Lately, I have seen him quite worried about a lizardman named Agua. It seems that Agua is a Devotee of a powerful deity named Krishna and he wants to establish a temple for Krishna in the city. Jigolanthas has looked into the future with a variety of magical devices, and he thinks that Agua might cause a great catastrophe to occur.

I hope he is wrong. I do love this city so much. It is my real home.