Frinsi's Story

Frinsi’s Story

I was born in Rasalandia, that wonderful Vaisnava paradise ruled by benevolent minotaurs under the watchful eye of the wise old King Bagh. But even as alittle child in my mother's arms, it was the forest that called to me. I was born to be a Druid and the spirits of the wild, not civilization were my best teachers.

My name is Frinsi Morales, and now, I make my home in Lolipop City, where my studies of the "balance" have taken me to the city's "red" district, where all manner of vice and corruption thrive to satisfy every wish and every fantasy, no matter how dark and perverted.

What is a respectable female like myself doing in such a place? Why is it necessary to observe depravity and debautched horrors to understand the balance? I am a serious person. I believe in an orderly universe where there are good and evil and one must choose between them. But my conversations with a specific demonic entity, a being called "Lust", of the race of Dajjals, to some known as beholders, those one-eyed orbs who make their home deep under the earth, in what is known in our planet as the Inner Earth, close to that great ball of raw energy known as the Inner Sun.

Lust had come to our surface world by the invitation of a particular mage known as Anton Kabalazas. But he met me here, in Lolipop City by accident, when I was looking for a specific cure for an Ogre who had a rare illness back at home in the Rasalandia Forest.

I was imediately attracted to the strange creature. He looked kind of like a glass and metal articulated eye, out of which emerged a variety of arteries and veins. This enromous floating eye had a tendecy to show horrible lustful images in it's orb at all times, images of people doing depraved acts with various objects, animals, even children, and of course, each other. The very existance of this creature was a kind of abomination to me. Something repulsive and horrible which should not be, but there he was, floating with his human companion, speaking terrible things and showing terrible images to all who dared look.

My profound instinct was to destory him, for such things as this Dajjal should not exist, but we were in Lolipop City, where killing things is forbidden, even if they be repulsive, horrible, demonic things such as the one-eye demon Lust. The thing had consciousness, and King Water would not allow us to kill things which are conscious, unless, of course, they had intentions to kill other conscious things. Ahimsa, o non-violence, was the law of the land since the Lizardman had become King.

To my great surprize, the horrible thing came to me, abandoning its companion.

"Hello." it said.

"What are you?" I asked.

"My name is Lust, and I am of the race of Dajjals, also known as the Eye Tyrants or Beholders, as we are named by you in this realm". The orb was constantly changing images, showing as it approached me, various images of Elves similar to me in horrible, depraved sexual acts.

"I have never seen something such as yourself. You are a terrible thing to behold. Please leave me." I cried, although in my heart, there was a strong curiosity to know more of this strange being and his demonic origins.

"You are still a virgin." It said, accusingly. It was a fact, not a question.

How the think knew this very private fact about my person I do not know. But the very act of saying that I was a virgin was a kind of violation of my privacy, of my intimacy. Once again, revulsion and horror rose in my heart and I felt like I wanted to vomit. Would it not leave me alone?

The thing must have sensed my discomfort, because it apologized:

"I am sorry, I am not used to being amongst your kind."

"You are not used to elves? There are many elves in Lollipop City."

"No, I am not used to virgins who choose voluntary celebacy." It said.

"I am a High Druid. I have consecrated my body to the pursuit of the balance of nature, and celibacy is very useful and praised amongst Druids to raise one's primal life-force. Something called Chi." I explained. I was baffled. Why was I explaining myself to this abomination? I owed the demon no explanation.

"Have you no urges to make love?" He asked. I assumed it was a “he” because it chose a male voice to address me.

"Of course not! By the Gods, if you were not in this city, I would slay you, horrid thing. You should not exist. You are a dark speck of filth in Nature's way." I cried, alarmed, angry, excited.

"You might think as much, but there are others of my race who are far worse and it is they who you should be fearful of. We Dajjals are beings of passions, and my passion is Lust, which is why I have the name I have. If Lust is denied, then far darker passions can and will arise. In my city, which you here call Dajjal City, the force of the passions increases as you go deeper. I am one of the passions that live in the surface. Above me lives love, another Dajjal. But below me live darker passions like Envy, Pride and of course Hate. The most terrible of them is called Death, for death is the passion for the ending of life. It is I who detain these lower passions or Dajjals from entering into your world. You should be thankful to me."

I had enough.

Shuddering, I left the thing alone, without another word. I was in a city where such things could go about their business freely, but if we had been back in Rasalandia, this thing would have been sent back to hell, where it surely came from. With the policial chaos that surfaced with the defeat of the Three Elders, and the odd arrangement to put a Lizarman with absolutely no political or leadership experience on the throne of the city, Lolipop City had become a dwelling place for unclean spirits.

I went back to my home in Rasalandia, cured the Ogre and left it at that.

But I was deeply troubled. My very short meeting with Lust left me confused, with the smallest bit of doubt of my own values and mores. Had this monster been truthful to me? Was Lust a passion that was principally benevolent? Was Lust somehow stopping far darker passions from arising into our world?

Since I begain my druidic training, I had learned the power of celebacy to increase my lifeforce. What some monks call Chi. I had no difficulty in quenshing carnal desires, although they always kept coming. I did this in the belief that the energy created from this sacrifice was a good thing.

But what if it was a bad thing?

What if by supressing my own Lust I increased my rage? Was it possible? Certainly, my meeting with Lust filled me with rage. Was Rage not another Dajjal who lived deeper than Lust?

After various weeks of puzzling over the encounter, I had finally come to the conclusion that I had somehow “lost” the encounter with Lust. If dialogue is combat, Lust had been victorious over my own principles and ideas, since they were not as defensible to his arguments as I had originally considered.

I needed to go find the demon and vindicate my celibacy to him. I had simply become ofended and angry and he had shown me a moral superiority in his debautchery.

This could not stand.

My honor demanded that I show to Lust the superior force of celibacy.

So I went back to Lolipop City. And I looked for the Dajjal where he could most likely be found, in the Red District. That zone specifically left to all the whores and pimps and folks who seek to satisfy their lusts.

It took no time at all to find the beast, feeding of the pornographic energies of foul pursuers of carnal pleasures inside the “Chato Cat”, the oldest and most renowned brothel in all Lollipop City.  A gigantic structure in the shape of a cat which let people in through a door on its opened maw and let people out through another door on its opened anus. Such places, I reasoned, should not exist.

Here was a puzzling thing to me.

It was widely known that the Elder Jigolanthas, who had erected a giant penis for home in the center of the city called the “Pink Tower” was a perverted being who kept nymphs to satisfy his ridiculous lusts. So the existence of the Chato Cat under his rule was no surprise.

But Jigolanthas, Xan and Rainsong had been dethroned by the dwarf King Grumps, the minotaur Princess Minoreyna and the lizard King Agua. Now, the dwarf was of the same ilk as the gnome, the human and the elf who had created the city. But King Agua and Princess Minoreyna were strong adherents to the Hare Krishna religion, which forbade sex outside of marriage. How was it possible that King Agua had decided to spare the Chato Cat, and for that matter all of Lollipop City’s red district? Was the Lizard King a corrupt leader who only pretended to be a devotee?

I could not believe that. I had met Agua briefly before he became ruler of the City, and he was a sincere soul, a true devotee and certainly celibate. In fact, he was even a vegetarian. So why? Why would he allow such filth in his city?

“Because Lollipop City is a city peopled by a variety of beings who all deserve their free-will, and Agua is a wise ruler.” Said Lust, suddenly appearing to me, floating near the giant opened anus of the red-brick cat building.

“I was looking for you, Lust.” I chimed.

“I am not surprised. You are young, and beautiful, and a virgin.” He smiled.

“I felt I needed to go deeper into the benefits of my philosophy, to defend better my beliefs against what must be certainly their greatest adversary: you.”

“You are going to convince me, a being who feeds on the energy created by lust, somehow lust is not in the best interest of conscious beings?” laughed the floating eye.

“Yes, I can see where that would be difficult.” I accepted. “But our last conversation left me weak and feeling defeated, and that I can’t accept.” I said proudly. I was a Druid of Rasalandia, and I was not about to be defeated by a mere demon!

“Fine, let us continue our verbal sparring. It amuses me, although it is not very nutritive.” It said. And the image on its orb changed to a couple of Greek philosophers debating some deep philosophical quandaries.

“You feed off lust?” I asked it. I had never really studied the Dajjals and their nature, although I did remember hearing that they were emotional vampires. There were also rumors that they were made out of smokeless fire, like the Jinn, although I assumed they were totally different species.

“Yes. My species feeds of the emotional energy of other beings. This is why we are mostly despised by humans. I did not ask to be born with such a hunger, but if I do not find beings engaged in lustful acts, after a while, I begin to fade, and eventually, to disappear altogether, so usually, I spend most my time promoting lust in other beings, so they can act out their lust, and I can feed off those acts and the resulting emotion they produce.” It clarified.

“What about other passions, like hate, envy, pride?” I said, pointing out to Lust that although he considered himself a worthy passion, there were other passions which could be devastating to the wellbeing of conscious beings.

“What about them? They are my brothers and sisters, and they too feed when your kind are possessed by those emotions. Consider the hate that a rabbit has for a fox or the envy that a fish has for a bird. For small that that emotion is, it feeds us.”

“That’s horrid!”

“To you. But that it is our nature. How are we to change what we are? Not because we feed off emotion do we have any less intelligence of awareness of ourselves as you do. In fact, without passion, reality would not exist, because as we understand reality, there are three building blocks of it: ignorance, passion and goodness. Those are the three things which cause intelligence, mental process and thought. They build reality around us with the thoughts of conscious beings, and we simply feed off that.” The great eye was showing me visions of an earlier universe where thoughts were not really formed into matter and time was unimportant. In this universe, beings much like the dajjals simply created all things from their feelings and ideas.

“But that is not important. Tell me how Lust is not harmful to beings.” I returned the conversation to the nature of Lust itself, and thus my moral victory over this obviously dark entity.

“Lust is one of the forms of Love, and Love is the greatest and most exquisite of our kind, it is Love that permits reality to be beautiful and meaningful. In fact, it was Love who created this universe and many others to boot.”

“Lust has nothing to do with love.” I noted.

“Are you so sure? Love without lust is not romantic, or beautiful or exiting... If there is no passion between lovers, then there is nothing. And what more complete proof of love than unrequited lust?”

“But you come terrible things! Rape! Sodomy! Obsession!” I cried.

The great beholder blinked.

“I never said there was no dark side to me, Frinsi, but there is a dark side to all things, and there is a luminous side to all things, and what you fail to see is the light in the darkness. Take for instance my brother Hate. Hate can be beautiful, marvelous, and even magnificent. For instance, there is the hate that rises from injustice. Or the hate of cruelty.  And I, Lust, am much greater and much more beautiful than Hate. For my light shines far stronger in the hearts of those who desire, above all things, to enjoy the infinite and incredible pleasures of sexual union.” And on its great orb I saw Adam and Eve enjoying the forbidden fruit.

 I remembered the Druidic Balance. The great balance. The balance that emanates from all things, from all dualities. The profound peace abiding of resting in that middle-way. The way of the Buddha’s and Bodhisattvas. The search of that balance was the real reason of the celibacy. And somehow, in my frenzy to reach that balance, I had forgotten than even in Lust there was light, for there is the seed of light in darkness and the seed of darkness in light.

The search for purity had led me to an imbalance in me. My celibacy was bankrupt. I had sinned against the balance and I needed to make amends.

Lust finally won in my heart.

I realized I had forgotten to love.