My Conversation with a Black Hole

My Conversation with a Black Hole

My name is Santiago Ruiz, and I am an elf sorcerer in the service of Princess Minoreyna, absolute sovereign of Rasalandia, the mythical land of the Krishna adoring Minotaurs of Planet Nagaloka. After having consulted with an ancient Martian prophet from millions of years ago about a singularity of space-time which was about to end all reality as we understood it, I had, thanks to his advice, began to work on a spell that would permit me to dialogue with a nearby Black Hole regarding the possibility of changing the looming Maha Pralaya that was about to occur.

The Martian Prophet had explained to me that Black Holes were sentient and incredibly intelligent, and that they were not bound by time-space in the manner we are bound by time space.

Now, time-travel involves a spell that summons a “mini” black hole through which a clever spell caster, such as I, can move forward and backward in time to any point he or she desires, and in time to any KNOWN point in the universe.  The interaction with these mini portals is one of will, and in order for the spell to work, the spell caster must have the right intention and of course, the right dreaming.

But the “big” Black Holes, those gigantic sucking maws that devour stars, planets, even galaxies, those Black Holes are actually a mystery to us. The Martian Prophet had far more information about them than I, but he did not call them Black Holes.

He called them God Snakes.

In his visions, one could establish a dialogue with any “God Snake” if only he knew its name. And the trick was to find this name interrogating the stars and planets that were about to be devoured by a God Snake. God Snakes lived outside time and space as we understand it, and outside but also inside the universe, much like a worm can live in an apple, devour the apple, but not be part of the apple.

So, all I had to do was to interrogate a few planets and stars around a black hole in order to divine the name of the black hole and then I could speak to it. Nothing to it.

But of course, I had not a clue how to do it.

I had come back from the Mars of millions of years ago through the same mini-hole I had opened to interview the great and ancient Martian Prophet. I was back in my home, in Rasalandia, in my laboratory of magical and arcane things. I wanted to get this whole end of the universe thing done with soon because I had a date with Jennifer, my human girlfriend from modern day Planet Earth, and I didn’t want to carry the weight of knowing that the universe was about to end soon. Such knowledge is the death of romance.

Now, the only planet I knew directly by name was Nagaloka, who preferred to be called “Mother Earth”.  In the visions of the Martian Prophet, she had been there, (or is it more correct to say she would be there? After all the Martian Prophet had shown me things that were supposed to happen…) inside the Minotaur Palace in the last interviews between Princess Minoreyna, Jesus Christ, Lord Krishna, and Saint Death.

Calling upon Mother Earth, our Nagaloka was exceedingly simple. She was omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent, therefore all one had to do was to get a profound feeling of love for her. She would come if called lovingly.

My profound meditation on the love I had for my Mother Earth was not too difficult and it did not take me very long. I simply went deeply into the matrix of her nurturing beauty, her oceans, the continent, the mountains, rivers, forests and jungles. Even the more desolate ice-deserts and the great crystal desert. They all had beauty. They were marvelous. They were my home. They were my mother.

Within a matter of two days, she presented to me, in my laboratory, sitting on behind my desk. She was a beautiful female, with dark earth-colored skin and grass-green hair. She wore a simple green tunic and she carried a huge staff which was made from the trunk and roots of a marihuana tree. Her voice was as beautiful as the wind that blows over the tall weeds on the prairies, as gentle as the hum of the bees and as powerful as a waterfall.

“Santiago, although I am very happy you are finally meditating on your love for me, I must tell you also that you can’t change destiny.” she said.

“You know about the end of time looming over Rasalandia?”  I asked, foolishly.

 “The end of time? Are you joking? I am an omniscient deity, how could I NOT know about it?” she smiled.

“Riiiiiight.. Sorry.” I blushed.

“Anyhow, do you really want to talk to a Black Hole about it? I mean, it’s not like it’s going to help you much. I could put you in touch with one, but… She would eat you. That’s what Sacred Snakes do. They devour … everything. Including souls.”

“Oh?”

“Let me explain. A black hole is really the mouth of an entity, roughly, but very badly described as a worm, who exists outside of time, outside of space, outside of reality and devours anything that comes close to her. If you happen to dialogue with her, well, she’s basically going to tell you roughly WHEN you are going to get crunched, munched, swallowed. It’s not a fun thing to consider, and frankly, I already had that conversation, so if I can do anything to spare you the fearful event, well, that would be pleasing to me.” She spoke slowly, like a mother would speak to an older child who is rebellious and in danger of getting arrested.

“Mother you do have a point.” 

“On the other hand, if you have a strong stomach, well, the vision is powerful, and it will seal certain peace in your heart if you understand it completely.” She said coquettishly.

“What is the content of that speech, mother?” whined the elf. He was in too deep not to ask.

“Oroborus. The Snake who eats her own tail.” Said Mother Earth.

And then she stood up, patted me on the head lovingly, gave me a peck on the cheek and a pinch on my butt.

Off she went into … well… actually, she was still there, under my feet, always. It was spooky getting my cheek pecked by her when I knew that I stood always upon her.

And here, perhaps, my confession.

I have always been an explorer. My sin is to dare. And my satisfaction too. How could I heed the warning of my Mother, Earth, Nagaloka, my planet… when … when… I now knew the name of that which, once named, would come to me and devour me, and everything around me. To invoke dialogue which such entity, knowing full well that with my mere thoughts, I would go to its maw to be devoured irrevocably, impeccably…

What to do?

What to do?

I thought about it deeper. And in those thoughts, I understood that I had already done it. The deed had been done since before my birth, for Oroborus transcended the time of my births and of a million thousand million, hundred thousand million and even more than that of the births of all my parents, grandparents, even the things which were so far from an elf as I am now from an ocean.

And the oceans, and the rivers, and the mountains, and the souls… all the souls ever touched by my person, however slightly.

Oroborus…

Devoured.

And just as surely, shat back out the other side, into universes unknown and unknowable, places where our senses, our time, our space would have no rational point of departure. Spaces so alien as to make it impossible to even dream of.

My most profound nightmares. My most sincere dreams. All there, seen by all as the point of entry of a being, so huge, so ancient, so … unimaginable, that simply by its proximity it would alter irrevocably the nature of our reality.

And suddenly, I saw it.

The end of time.

Krishna and Jesus, the last two beings standing in a dialogue about the nature of good and evil, eternally deciding for all of us, judging us all. The great abyss was a mouth.

The mouth of a snake.

The mouth of a Sacred Snake.

And I, as infinite number of sorcerers and wizards had called it, with my prayer, with my prayer. With my prayer.

I saw the stage. I saw the battle. And I saw….

A dice with 20 sides being rolled by them.

20.

Krishna won.

And somewhere in the universe, a Lizard King granted Sat Chit Ananda to all beings. Sat – Immortality, Chit – Wisdom and Ananda – Bliss.

And thus, ended reality.